


Only Today

by i_have_a_navy



Category: Call Me By Your Name (2017) RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-11
Updated: 2018-03-11
Packaged: 2019-03-29 23:14:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13937484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/i_have_a_navy/pseuds/i_have_a_navy
Summary: The night is young and Timmy, who is much younger, feels unbelievably tired, anxiety running through him and tears threatening to spill just because.





	Only Today

Everyone around him was having fun yet he felt empty.

Luca kept pouring wine and laughing joyously. Wine bottles emptied but new ones were always brought.

Michael was making jokes that caused an uproar. 

Armie drank his wine like a man who just found civilization after being lost in the vast desert. 

Esther's trademark red lipstick was almost off but reapplying it didn’t even cross her mind. 

The night is young and Timmy, who is much younger, feels unbelievably tired, anxiety running through him and tears threatening to spill just because. He feels nothing yet too much. Timmy looks at the people around him buoyant and careless, wishing he could share those beautiful feelings. He pretends to though, smiling at Luca and laughing with Michael. He's good at that, plus, they deserve it. He can’t ruin this fun night for them it wouldn’t be fair. However, part of Timmy wants someone to ask him if he’s okay. He'd answer no, they’d frown and ask why. He’d let this mask fall off and maybe burst into tears because fucking dammit he wants to share this happiness with his friends on a night that might never repeat itself but he can’t because today he isn’t in control of his emotions. Today he feels empty, nostalgic and angry at himself. Today is just a shitty day and to top that cake he feels alone. Alone in a patio full of people who Timmy knows love him but he doesn’t feel it and it fucks him up even more.

"Timmy Tim Tim," Armie's hand is on Timmy's shoulder and his eyes are making Timmy feel. 

"You look way too sober for a guy who has drank about 3 wine bottles."

He bends down, his mouth close to Timmy's ear. "It's the water," his smile is conspiratory as if he were sharing a dirty secret.

"I know. You’ve been to the bathroom 50 times." 

"Fuck you, man." Armie laughs and usually Timmy would laugh with him but today all he can offer is a soft smile. 

Armie straightens and puts out his hand. "Let’s go, Tim. Before I’m drunk enough that you have to tuck me in."

"I wouldn’t mind." Timmy answers in that way he does without thinking just stating. "We can stay."

Armie's eyes soften. "I love you, man."

Timmy shrugs, he’s used to it now. Not like the first time when his eyes became saucers and he just stood there until Armie called him now far away looking at him over his sunglasses in that 'I dare you' way and Timmy ran, jumped on his back, of course Armie held him and then of course it was suddenly normal. 

"It’s okay."

"Anyways, I can’t let a teenager take my drunken self through the streets. It’s absolutely immoral." 

"Forget what I said. You most definitely are drunk."

"Let’s go be immoral in the streets." Armie is grinning, in that way he does when his vampire teeth show.

Armie puts his hand out again and raises his eyebrows. Timmy takes it and for a second Armie's hand slips onto his waist. He squeezes and then lets go. 

"I’m going to grab my jacket. Say goodbye." 

Timmy follows Armie's dad instructions. Kisses, thank you's and hugs are shared out.

They walk out and Armie puts his arm out, Timmy bundles in. "You have so many fucking jackets yet you never wear them." 

"Right dad." 

Armie hugs him tighter. "Idiot."

They walk and it feels good to have the air all over them. "I felt bad today." Timmy says offhandedly, used to sharing everything with Armie.

"What?" Armie looks over at him confused. "Did you feel sick?" 

Timmy slowed down. "No, it wasn’t like that. I just didn’t feel anything. I just felt weird." Timmy drowns out trying to find the right words.

"You didn’t tell me." Armie says accusingly. 

"I wasn’t going to ruin your night." 

Armie stops, grabs Timmy by the shoulders so that they are staring straight at each other. "It doesn’t work like that, Timmy. We tell each other things, even when the things are bad. I want to know how you feel no matter the occasion."

"I wasn’t going to ruin your night," he repeats. "You deserved a fun night. You take care of me all the time. You deserved it. I just didn’t feel okay for a bit. I felt alone for a bit." Timmy is frowning his eyes on the floor. 

"Timmy-"

"I’m sorry, Armie. I couldn’t help it." Timmy's throat closes up.

Armie grabs him and hugs him. One of his hands is splayed on Timmy's back and the other is on Timmy's neck, softly guiding his face to the crook of Armie's neck. "It’s okay. It’s okay. I’m not mad it’s okay. It was just a bad day."

They stay like that for a bit. Armie's voice drowns out and they are swaying slightly.

"You must think I’m such a baby." Timmy mutters.

"No, you are just feeling." 

And he is. He's feeling so much, such a stark difference to earlier. Armie had to unleash. He always did. 

Timmy moves his head, so that his chin is on Armie's shoulder. "I love you too."

**Author's Note:**

> I was just feeling too much. Disclaimer: Work of fiction. Charmie isn’t real guys.


End file.
